13. SMontague 2008.jpeg — **DR. MONTAGUE’S ANTI-VIRUS HOME REMEDY No. 1**

**patented & guaranteed to work under most domestic conditions**

Directions

The infusions below to be taken and used with the following instructions:

Print and place The Montague Remedy - YouTube List on the fridge with a magnet.
Write numbers 1 through 65 in black ink on an A4 piece of paper.
Cut out and fold the 65 individual numbers with enough blank space so they can be folded, covered, and not seen.
Place the folded numbers in a jam-jar and store in a safe place out of the sunlight.
Assign a moment of repose each day to visit the jar and carefully remove 1 number.
Match the number revealed with the number on the Remedy chart.
Flip a coin to determine the bonus of an accompanying drink: Heads = YES, Tails = NO.
If a DRINK is determined, flip coin again to determine alcoholic, or a non-alcoholic?
“Alcoholic” allows the option of a second choice from the Remedy List, if desired.
Find the appropriate YouTube site on your computer. Sit comfortably. Relax. ingest the complete content. Post infusion: reflect pensively for 5 minutes. Return to work.
Dispose of used paper numbers responsibly.

Prescription Renewal

THIS REMEDY MAY BE RENEWED IN 2 MONTHS’ TIME SHOULD THE VIRUS PERSIST.

Nota Bene. The Montague Remedy List may be shared with friends and colleagues but should be withheld from miscreants, ding-dongs and suspected frilly-dillies. Hopefully a further Anti-Viral Remedy prescription will not be necessary since the “All Clear” is expected sooner rather than later and according to Donald J. Trump. By Easter churches should be full and everyone dialled back to normal. Great comfort, encouraging, and of course surely Gospel as it’s coming from the esteemed Leader of the free world. Bovem de humo operies. Amen.

The Two Month (65 day) Anti-Virus Remedy Supply List

click to imbibe